Wednesday, March 3, 2021

What are these Things I am Feeling?

I feel obligated to admit that I am not a dog person. 

As a kid, the unpredictability of dogs made super-anxious me, well, anxious. And, all of my fears about dogs were confirmed one ill-fated summer evening when I was 8 when the neighborhood Great Dane, Joey, decided to jump on me as I filed past him with a group of kids headed to the back yard for a game of kickball. 

I’ll never know if Joey was trying to lick me or to bite me (though it sure seemed like the latter), but I do know his paws were as big as my face. I ended up with a puncture wound that sent me to the ER and that left me with a scar that I still have to this day. 

So, yeah, cats have always been more of my jam. 

My recent change of heart surprises me a little. I mean, sure, I tend to be a sucker for things that help the kids. And, I know that kids with autism respond positively to animals. Plus, I’ve done a lot of reading about autism service dogs, so logically, I understand that a dog can probably help Stow. And, logically I also understand that all dogs are not Joey. It makes sense that I’m willing to get a dog to help my kid. I’d do absolutely anything for them, after all. 

What surprises me is how much I already love Shiro and how much I am to looking forward to having her join our family. I know we will have to do a lot of adjusting. Sky is sure this is all a terrible idea. (Guess who doesn’t like change?) We’ve never had a dog before, much less a dog that is almost as big as Stow, so I get Sky’s anxiety. He’s having trouble wrapping his head around how Shiro will be a family pet if her job is to help Stow. Plus, dogs are so different than cats. Cats don’t need to be let outside to take care of their business. They don’t need walks or baths, and our cats could care less if we acknowledge their existence most of the time. Shiro is going to be a whole other story, and since none of us are great with change, Sky isn't wrong to be nervous. 

Even so, I’m excited about this dog in a way that I haven’t been excited about anything in a very, very, VERY long time. Every picture or training update we get makes August feel impossibly far away. I’ve already started ordering things we need for her and would set her crate up in Stow’s room right now if I thought it wouldn’t totally confuse him and cause him months of frustration (until a couple of days ago, he thought Shiro would be here in June just after his birthday--concepts of time are hard for him). Whereas I can live with my feelings of excitement and anticipation, I also have to be careful not to trigger his. 

Since I can't start setting things up or talk about her with my family very much, I will tell you guys instead. I AM SO EXCITED AND CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SHIRO COMES!!! And, these feelings confuse me. How in the world do I find myself almost 50 and falling in love with a dog for the first time?!?

Here are some pictures of her. I’m dying with how sweet she looks. 

And, look at her being such a good girl during her training:

Seriously, how could you NOT fall in love with this dog?

I’m sure Shiro will teach us all a lot. She has already taught me that it’s never too late to change and it’s never too late to find new and unexpected joy. Even if nothing else comes of this exciting opportunity for Stow and our family (though I’m sure it will), Shiro has taught me more than enough!

Here's my original post about Shiro. Check out how much she's grown!!

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