Thursday, February 27, 2014

Start Small

The behavioral therapist who works with Sky and Stow suggested I make small goals in order to work toward feeling more sane as a parent.

Of course, my first thought was that I have no idea what sane parenting feels like. I did once, but then I actually had kids and those kids turned out to be a bit challenging. I've been winging it ever since.

Does it show? Oh, gosh, now I feel self-conscious. Maybe everyone else has this figured out and it's only me who has no idea what I'm doing.

So, right, small goals. Hmmm...
  • I'd like not lose my patience when Pink refuses for the 100th time to to get her socks on even when it's less than 2 minutes to time for the bus to come.
  • I'd like to be able to reasonably convince my ASD child that not EVERYTHING is black and white. 
  • I'd like for dinner to be made and baths to be finished before I feel like I've reached the end of my rope.
  • I'd like to consistently remember to pack my lunch and put on my coat before leaving for work for the day.
  • I'd like to maintain the amount of creative energy it took me to make sensory bins and come up with age appropriate sensory-based play, even when I am tired from five straight days of teaching all new classes. 
  • I'd like to be able to watch my kids do gymnastics without being mortified by how terrible they seem to be at following the rules.
  • I'd like to not lose my cool the third (and fourth and fifth) time(s) Pink P gets out of bed after we've already done the bedtime routine.
  • I'd like to figure out how to referee three-child free-for-alls without raising my voice.
  • I'd like to slow the expansion of gray hairs on my head.

Are these reasonable goals? Honestly, I have no idea. And, in the end, I'm not sure small goals are my issue. It's the big picture I worry about. I have no idea what kind of mom I want to be. I'm not a tiger mom, or a helicopter mom, or a granola mom, or a free range mom, or a soccer mom. And then again, maybe I'm a little bit of all of these kinds of mom and more. See, that's the thing. I'm just a mom, making it from one day to the next hoping I'm not screwing up too badly, hoping my kids come out of their childhood with hearts full of good memories and not too many scars. And, mostly just hoping they turn out to be big-loving, hard-working, passionate, and funny adults who are able to deal with whatever life throws at them. I don't know if those are lofty goals or lame ones, but these are the goals I have, so I guess it's as good a place as any to start.


I did achieve a couple of other goals. Look:

Pictures. Hanging on the wall.

But more importantly, pictures hanging on the wall of a room for Pink P that is not predominantly pink.

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