Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Now We Know Why I'll Never Be a Millionaire

I've been trying to figure out for a while now how to advertise on this blog. Some of you early readers will remember my failed attempt at using the ads provided by this blogging platform. First, there was the page full of TOMS ads to accompany my rant about TOMS (click here for that oldie but goody), and then there was the one too many ads trying to hook my readers up with Asian women. “How many is one too many?” you ask. One. That's how many. So, I disconnected the ads just as I was nearing the cut-off for my first payday. Ugh, I hate having principles. It's so not financially rewarding.

Anyway, as I was pondering this and talking to my friend who happens to do web marketing, I decided I might never figure out how to make any money with this meager endeavor. Then I saw the media kit for Jenny over at the (A much more awesome blog than mine, by the way. If you're not reading it, you should be), and I was inspired to create this:

 The Official Moe/ Media Kit ©

(Please feel free to share it with all your marketing and media mogul friends. No, really, I insist.)

About Moe: Moe is a professor of things both relevant and not, blogger, and #1 mom to her three young, somewhat bilingual, special needs kids who have a shared fetish for Lego space ships and hot chocolate with marshmallows.  Her blog ( is extremely popular with her relatives, her mom’s bridge clubs, and a couple of other people. According to Google Analytics, she averages over 1800 page views a month (which makes her think that either her mom needs to play less bridge or she needs to become more familiar with her growing fan base).  
She has been recognized by practically no one ever, but that might be because she refuses to post pictures of herself on Facebook and hasn’t updated the photo on her departmental webpage in a decade.  She is a sought-after bear hugger who can get your engine level under control stat (click on this link before you get all kinky) and has hundreds of followers (but that’s mainly because they’re required to come to class). She has a knack for being “funny and real” when she blogs and tends to ignore what other people think (unless they are writing student evaluations because everyone knows you’re supposed to pay attention to those).

Rates for advertising on are:
 $25 a month for text ads.
 $50 for a sponsored post.
 $75 for a month of graphic ads.
 $250,000 for a notarized pledge to never eat tonkotsu ramen again.

 (Donations also welcome because, duh, she's desperate and would really like to make enough money to cover her expenses.) 
Contact Moe at momintwocultures(at)gmail(dot)com for more information. And remember, every penny you spend on advertising goes toward keeping this blog humming like the fine-tuned machine that it is (and also toward anchoring Moe just this side of insanity as she holds down a not-terribly-lucrative job and pays for childcare while her spouse recovers from his 273 millionth back surgery), which is something.

1 comment:

Mom on the Edge said...

I really can't understand why people aren't jumping at this AMAZING advertising opportunity. I mean, the ladies in my mom's bridge club have their fingers on the pulse of what's hot, know everyone, and like to shop. Who wouldn't want to reach THAT demographic?