Saturday, January 5, 2013


You remember how just last post I mentioned the importance of being on top of Sky's friendship circles because he is easily influenced and that can be dangerous for a kid who learns by modeling?

That's because even when we are careful, things like this happen:

In case you're wondering, this is the back side of Sky's behavior log. Sky's teachers provide me with one of these daily since Sky often fails to understand why he got into trouble and/or can't explain it when he does. The teacher or Sky will write a short subject-less sentence explaining any problematic behavior: "hit friend," "blurted inappropriate words during test," etc. And the teacher will usually include a sentence or two about good choices he made during the day.

As you can see from today's report, the teacher needed more room, so she had to write on the back.

In case you can't read the handwriting, the memo says:

"Kept repeating the word 'hell' during indoor recess, when other children told him it was wrong. [Sky] and I spoke about this at length. Also, he was using rhyming words, 'suck, duck, f---.' A child told him it was wrong to say that and [Sky] continued on."

Crap! Now we're f**ked. I mean, I managed to get him all the way to the age of 8 believing the worst words you could use were "poopy" and "stupid," (which was not easy, by the way). Now, after today's recess, he knows that "hell" is a bad word and that he should never, ever say "f**k."


Don't get me wrong, he's accidentally said all sorts of inappropriate words all his life (link), but I've never made a big deal out of them. Why? Because if I tell him something's a bad word, he'll want to know what it means. And, if I tell him he can't know what it means, he'll want to know why it's such a big deal. And if I tell him it's a big deal because people really don't like to hear that word, he'll want to know why a word exists that no one wants to hear. And, if I tell him the "why" is not important, but he should never, ever use that word at school, he won't be convinced. After all, he learned the word at school!

Oh, and the best part of this? When Sky's stressed or out-of-sync, he experiences a bit of echolalia, and the words he repeats are often the "bad" words that he knows: "poopy, stupid, ha ha ha." So what do I envision? I envision him dancing around saying "f**k, f**k, f**k" while his speech-delayed little brother studies him intently and then imitates him, making "f**k" one the few words he can produce. Then I envision all three of them holding hands, dancing around in a circle, singing "f**k, f**k, f**k" while grown-ups stare gaping wondering just what kind of parents we are.

It's going to be awesome.

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