We got to school a little early on Friday, so Pink P's teacher had a chance to corner me.
Teacher: Have you heard about her "boyfriend?"
Me: (Sigh) Yes.
Teacher: I just wanted to let you know that they were holding hands during naptime, so I separated them.
Me: Thank you.
Teacher: She still has a problem with blowing kisses though. So maybe that's something you can talk about at home?
Me: Of course.
Those of you who know me can understand why I am wondering where this kid came from. If teachers talked to my mom, it was usually about how I beat up a boy on the play ground or didn't try hard enough to make the other kids like me. Just the other day, I was reminiscing about the fact that I was essentially kicked out of Brownie Scouts. Apparently, my scoffs and refusal to glue doilies onto empty coffee cans was the last straw. I don't remember. I just remember wishing I could be home playing basketball or building forts in the woods.
In the last 48 hours, Pink P said all of the following:
» I can't wait to go to school so I can be with my boyfriend.
» (To a complete stranger) I just love your hair.
» (Again to a complete stranger) What a pretty bow!
» Can I take my unicorn with me?
» I don't want to wear pants! I want to wear a dress!!!
» This needs more glitter.
» They like it when I blow them kisses!
» He thinks I'm cute.
» I never have enough money to go shopping.
» Why can't I paint my fingernails? I'm old enough!
I don't think I've ever, in my entire life, uttered any one of these phrases. Ever.
I tried to intervene, I really did. And when I did, we had the following conversation:
M: Pink, I don't think Chase thinks of you that way.
P: Yes, he does. He's my boyfriend. He loves me and I love him.
M: But when we saw him the other day, he seemed kind of annoyed by you. I think he just wants to be your friend.
P: (in tears) Mommy! That's mean! You just don't understand.
Now, I know you think I am overreacting, but look. She drew these this morning:
I admit it. I'm worried. Because she's right. I don't understand. I actually have no idea what she's talking about. Probably because my brain went into panic shutdown mode and hasn't been able to reboot since.