Saturday, July 7, 2012

You Ask a Stupid Question...

Stow has a birthmark. Actually, all of my kids have birthmarks, but Stow has one (on his leg) that others can see. It's not huge, but it's not necessarily tiny, either. Now I'm not one to worry about such things (though I have wondered if it will cause him grief when he gets older). But a lot of people have been trying to disturb my Zen attitude about it with their lame curiosity.

It's amazing how many people do not adhere to the social convention we encourage Pink P and Sky to follow to not talk about how others look. My ASD kid excels at making poorly-timed observations about complete strangers--usually at the precise moment when a crowded room has fallen unexpectedly silent--so the "no-talking-about-the-bodies-of-others" rule has proven quite useful.

I've already lost count of the number times people (often complete strangers) have asked me: "Is that a birthmark?" I always simply say, "Yes." (Followed by an awkard silence. I mean, what else should I say?) In my head, though, I'm totally judging the person for the stupid question. In fact, "Is that a birthmark?" may surpass "Where did you get him?" as the stupidest question I've ever been asked. So, I've come up with a useful list of responses that I hope helps you, too.

Top 10 Answers to the Question "Is that a Birthmark?"

10. Oops! I must've missed a spot with the sunscreen.

9. What? What are you talking about? (Look at birthmark and exclaim) Oh my gosh! What's wrong with him? Hurry, call 911!!

8. Shoot, I miss that spot every time. (Try to rub it off.)

7. Why? Do you want one?

6. Thanks! I've been looking for that piece of gum!

5. All Japanese people have one. It's how the government controls them.

4. Uh oh, diaper leak! Can you hold him for a second?

3. It's a scar. He's Harry Potter's long-lost baby brother, you know. What? You didn't know about the little brother. Man, you need to re-read the books, then.

2. That's a birthmark?!! Phew! I thought aliens were trying to communicate with me!

1. It's a tattoo of New Jersey. We love that show.

6 comments:

Brahm Kornbluth said...

Shoot, I miss that spot every time... Hee hee hee, awesome answer!

JGL said...

Tatoo! LOL

kuri, ping, the pinglet, & mini-ping said...

Great answers! Ken has a large strawberry birthmark )hemangioma) on his forearm (covers almost his entire forearm) and I can't tell you the number of adults who ask me about it...right in front of him! Apparently, it will mostly fade by his 3rd birthday.

Keaven Neely said...

LOVE IT. My girls have some cute small little ones and I think they're adorable. It makes them who they are.

Mama Melch said...

Our daughter has a hemangioma on her cheek. She learned to say that 5 syllable word when she was 2, mostly to shock the idiotic questions and comments out of people.

I've also been known to say:
-A leech, they're the latest treatment for behavioral issues.
-(whisper behind my hand)Cancer.

Mom on the Edge said...

Nice.