Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Backy Back and its Sucky Backiness

Maybe I've been taking the wrong approach. Instead of pretending the Back is not being a complete jerk, maybe it's time to embrace it. Maybe all it needs is a little more attention. So here you go, Back, a whole blog post about you. Hope you're happy. In fact, I hope you're happy enough to go bug someone else for awhile. Or, how about a cruise? I hear those are pretty nice. You could spend some time in the sun, explore new lands, and enjoy all-you-can-eat buffets at every meal. That's gotta be more fun than torturing a certain stay-at-home dad I know.

We went to the doctor yesterday to find out about the Back. Ren's pretty sure he can't live this way, you know with one leg completely numb all the time and the foot and thigh of the other randomly hopping on the numb train whenever the mood strikes them. And not just the fun kind of numb where he might accidentally cut off a toe without realizing it, but the pins and needles kind that shoots up and down the leg just to remind him there's no way he could possibly sleep. Ever again. The doctor agrees; not doing surgery is no longer an option. So for those of you keeping track at home, the Back wins again. Back 2 (or more like 643), Ren 0.

But you know what sucks more than a second back surgery that leaves us one man down for weeks on end? It's when one of the best surgeons in the country looks at all the images of the Back and puzzles over them for a tad longer than is comfortable for anyone. It turns out that there is no simple solution for the havoc the Back has been wreaking on our lives. In fact, there's really no solution at all. As our doctor told us, "In 2042, doctors will look at this and say, 'Why'd they ever cut on this guy,' but in 2012, there's no easy fix." Oh the joy of heading into a major surgery with little knowledge of whether things will be any better in the end!

Well played, Back, well played.

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