Thursday, February 16, 2012

How I Met Ren, Part 3

So here are a few tips from the Ren playbook of luuu~v.

1. Obtain unwitting foreign girl's phone number before she leaves the hospital by promising to introduce her to various mountain trails in Kyushu.

2. Purchase mulitple phone cards to ensure that you have enough minutes to carry on a two-hour conversation on the hall pay phone (much to the chagrin of your fellow patients).

3. Call her, and in the course of your witty conversation, suggest that she stop by when she comes for her follow-up appointment with Dr. Miyajima.

4. When she stops by to say hello, ask her, "So whaddya doing next Sunday?"

At this point, you will totally confuse her because, after all, you are still in the hospital. So you will have to explain the concepts of "gaishitsu" (leaving the hospital for the day) and "gaihaku" (leaving the hospital overnight). When she hears this explanation, she will be flabbergasted because who ever heard of a healthcare system that allows you to stay in the hospital long enough that you actually need chances to go home for a day or two?

5. When you go to pick her up on Sunday, dress your best and take her to the nicest restaurant in town.

6. After a nice meal, take her to the most scenic spot around for a romantic stroll and, at the opportune moment, tell her you think you were meant to be together.

*****

For a guy who hadn't dated in a really, really long time, Ren seemed to find his mojo pretty quickly. I just had a few suggestions:

First, when you take a girl on a date, make sure she knows she's going on a date. (Okay, this one wasn't really his fault. By my second year in Japan, I was used to being asked to meals by all sorts of folks. Since Ren is older, I wasn't sure if we were going on a date or if I would be eating dinner with his kids in exchange for a free English lesson).

Second, while preparing a drink for her to enjoy in the car on the way to the restaurant is an incredibly thoughtful gesture, Pocari Sweat really isn't the drink to set the mood.

Third, don't take a person recovering from a stomach ulcer to a French restaurant and order a five-course meal.

Fourth, when you take her on a stroll to a scenic point overlooking the city, make sure you take your glasses so you can tell her what she's seeing.

Fifth, for the love of God, don't wear your woven leather shoes. I'm sure they were expensive, but they just make her think you might be a middle-aged pimp.

(You know, I actually still kinda feel guilty about these shoes. After the first date, I told Ren I never wanted to see them again. He must've really liked me because I never did.)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 4

5 comments:

USA Kiwi (Kylee) said...

Awesomesauce.
Next!!

FMBMC said...

Awww!!! Ren is so romantic!

I totally agree about the shoes.

Mom on the Edge said...

FMBMC,

Don't you DARE let him hear you say that!!

Mom on the Edge said...

Busy weekend. Part 4 coming soon...

Sunday said...

I remember Pocari Sweat! Doesn't it taste kinda like Squirt? It is an unfortunate name...We lived in Japan for 3 years and really enjoyed the different names that some of the products have. Have you seen Man Pocky?