Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Top 10 Signs You'll Never Be a Japanese Housewife

10. You can't sew. Therefore, you can't make all of the fancy-schmancy things for school like the lunch box bag, the tea cup bag, the shoe bag, the book bag, the PE uniform bag, the luncheon mat, the sweet little book marks, and the notebook covers. You also can't turn your son's smock into a work of art inspired by Monet. Why? Because you can't sew.

9. You think your kids will probably survive just fine, even if you don't make them gargle with iodine every single day.

8. You don't feel compelled to make cute animals out of the various foods you put in your son's lunch. Rabbit apple slices. Lion mini sausages. Hello Kitty carrots. You can live without creating these things.

7. You think your kids will do okay in kindergarten despite the fact you don't take them to after-school lessons in math, calligraphy, and English (ha! at least you've got them all beat on the English thing!)

6. During the long weeks of the rainy season, you've been known to take your laundry to the laundry mat to dry it.

5. You're pretty sure your husband can get his own beer/tea/coffee, and you're not afraid to make him try.

4. You don't think of an apron as an everyday article of clothing. In fact, you don't feel at all self-conscious doing all sorts of work inside and outside the home without one on.

3. You microwave at least some part of some meal once a day.

2. You don't think the occasional carbonated drink will melt your kids' bones and put them on the path to delinquency.

1. You're not Japanese.

(I should add here my usual disclaimer about how all people are different and how stereotypes sometimes--and in this case, definitely--make for better blog entries.)


Keith said...

Re: #1. You're just not trying hard enough!

Mom on the Edge said...

Yes, maybe I should change it to, "You're not Japanese and you're just not trying hard enough."

Melissa said...

Oh love this. Glad to be back in the states where I sometimes leave my shoes on in the house without feeling like I have to fall on a sword in dishonor.

Mom on the Edge said...

I still feel super guilty about the shoe thing. Sometimes, when Ren's not looking, I take a couple of steps into the mudroom just to grab my keys. Please, promise you won't tell! Pleeease!

The Official Photographer of Mr. P. Head said...

I feel like one of these should be "never use pre-made, frozen stuff".. I have YET to find like, pre-made frozen desserts in Japan besides ice cream, and I am going through frozen cookie dough withdrawl..

Anonymous said...

Oh wow, I've only just stumbled on your blog for the first time. I believe we may have a similar sense of humor...and take on the Japanese culture. Just charming, love it!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!! I'm Japanese but I don't think I could ever be the "perfect" Japanese mom :)

Anonymous said...

The only thing I know how to make is "wiener octopus" :)

Anonymous said...

these are a few I could add:
you don't mind complaining about having to make endless obentos in the wee hours of the morning or having to suit your schedule around the kids, school, club activities and every other thing that eats into your private time

you still remember the concept of ME time, even though you never get any or have any friends or family who think it is necessary